Collateral Punishment for All!

by Steve Cook

The government today announced plans to overhaul the justice system so that it aligns with the justice procedures now standard in Western diplomacy and other theatres of war.

The news comes in the wake of a nationwide survey that revealed alarming shortcomings in the current system.

Responding to the news, ashen-faced Lord Justice Dredd said: “the current system is in dire need of change. It is riddled with loopholes that gravely restrict the freedoms of ordinary multinational corporations to kill people for their own good while at the same time enabling far too many people to get away with things they didn’t do. We simply cannot go on like this.”

The government plans to bring the country’s justice procedures up to speed with the 12th Century by introducing methods that have been found to be so successful in the field of international diplomacy.