In Yer Face, Putin

A shock discovery proves that Washington was right all along and not, as everyone thought, run by criminally insane douche bags who happened to have gotten their hands on the biggest arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in the history of the universe.

As those who were following events in post-coup Ukraine will know, the majority ethnic Russian population of Crimea voted overwhelmingly in a referendum to leave Ukraine and rejoin Russia in an effort to escape the Nazi regime America had so kindly and thoughtfully installed in Kiev for nothing but humanitarian motives (and nothing at all to do with provoking Russia or handing vast swathes of fertile Ukrainian land over to Monsanto and other humanitarian organisations devoted to abolishing the food chain).

Washington helps everybody know what is going on despite IQ drop

The apparent loss of several IQ points by governments across the Western World may, according to the latest scientific discoveries, be due to a simple lack of clarity in the meaning of some of the terms being used by government representatives (the media).

This has resulted in a small minority of troublemakers known as "citizens" not knowing what is going on. Some have even gone so far as to adopt the extremist view that their government has gone insane, and/or is being run by aliens and/or is trying to get us all killed, although to be fair there is little more than evidence to back up these views and it is well known that one can use evidence to prove almost anything true.

Europe Introduces New National Anthem - Nobody Outraged

Shock-waves of indifference resonated across Europe today as news emerged from Brussels that the European Empire – whose name was changed last week from the “European Union” by the ruling Reichsbank in Frankfurt, a move that will be announced to the public in early 2059 – has now made mandatory the adoption by all Subject Peoples (formerly known as Member States) of a new national anthem.