Your Emperor's Christmas Message

The Text in Full

Ave Britons!

It is I, your Emperor, Caesar Nefarius Vexus, addressing my loyal minions of the province of Britannia from my luxury fallout shelter, whose location must be withheld for security reasons.

As you know, I recently chose for you a new Governor to replace the slightly mad Cameronius Conservitus after he so manifestly failed to suppress the revolt of the tribe of the Brexix under their leader Faragus, which nearly led to the calamity of secession from the Europa branch of the Empire of the entire province of Britannia.