Oh What a Lovely New War!

by Steve Cook

Following the so-called War on Terror that ended in a draw after extra time and the so-called War on Drugs that resulted in an embarrassing defeat, the government today launched a new War that it is confident will prove even more popular than the first two.

In this new War, it will draw heavily on its experience in the first two practice wars, to guarantee complete victory this time.

This is the so-called War on Peace, which it has already begun heavily promoting in the media.