Missing Bike may have frozen to Death

The nation is in mourning today following news that the bike that was reported missing three weeks ago has been found dead on the edge of Epping Forest.

It was believed to have been the victim of an abduction, although a three-week nationwide police search failed to reveal the whereabouts of either the bike or its abductor. 

A post mortem suggests that it may have been abandoned and, unable to find its way home, fallen prey to the recent cold snap known as BST (British Summer Time) and simply frozen to death.

A memorial service is to be held in its home town of Basingstoke, Details to follow.

Psychiatrists warn Parents: your Child may be demented

"Totally demented" - a psychiatrist speaks

Following the shock discovery by psychiatrists that video game addiction is a new, highly profitable, mental illness to be treated on the NHS at taxpayers' expense (see article here), the mental health industry briefly ran dangerously low on stocks of nuances of human behaviour to label as mental illnesses.

The so-called Behavioral Nuance Crisis has however been alleviated by the discovery of a new, hitherto unexpected illness.

America Shocked as Trump Tops New Poll in California

The civilised world (Iceland) was left reeling today as news emerged from California that Donald Trump just topped an opinion poll.


The question put before 350,000 people was: who is the worst President of the US since Barak Obama?

Breaking News: Government to ban football after latest violent outrage.

The latest horror (depicted in this harrowing video) has spurred moves to makes ear-flicking a capital offence after the victim spent three years in hospital and lost his hearing.

NHS to Provide Therapy for People Who Think They are Awake

News in Brief:

THE GREAT AWAKENING is happening. 

People are waking up. 

Yet some people have woken to discover they are living in a planetary loony bin and secretly wish they could go back to sleep, while others have only dreamed they woke up but are actually still asleep. 

The good news is the NHS is now providing group therapy for those in the latter category. If you think this is just the kind of help you or a loved-one might need, watch this video