Deification of President to Proceed as Planned

by Steve Cook

The process of elevating of the US President to the status of a god is now in its advanced stages and is to proceed as planned, the Secretary of Hysteria announced today.

The move to recognize the inherent godlike nature of the current incumbent of the White House follows the example of the Roman Empire, which adopted the highly sensible and enlightened policy of deifying its emperors. That ground-breaking munificence on the part of Rome's kindly and not-at-all-bonkers rulers bestowed upon the masses the opportunity to worship them and thereby brighten their otherwise drab and pointless hovels.

Politician States The Blindingly Obvious - Whole World in Shock

by Steve Cook

The whole world was left reeling in shock yesterday when the US President, Donald Trump, unleashed the startling and unexpected discovery that, contrary to commonly-held credulousness, the media doesn't tell the truth.

In the same breath he in fact subjected the world to a double-whammy in so far as his statement marked the first time a politician, since Genghis Khan ("I'm gonna kill everybody") told the truth.